Mattering - Why it is so important to feel valued

What does the term mean?

‘Mattering’ describes the feeling of being important to other people - the feeling of being seen, heard and needed. It means not only being noticed, but also feeling that our words and actions have an impact on the lives of others. This feeling is one of the basic human needs and is closely linked to mental health and well-being. When we know that we are important to others, it strengthens our self-esteem and gives us emotional stability.

In contrast, the feeling of insignificance can have serious negative consequences. People who feel unimportant often suffer from loneliness, depression and anxiety. They feel socially isolated and overlooked. This phenomenon is known as ‘anti-mattering’ and leads to deep emotional distress.

Where does the term come from and who is behind it?

The term ‘Mattering’ was coined in the 1980s by the sociologists Morris Rosenberg and B. Claire McCullough. They investigated how the feeling of being important to others influences self-image and interpersonal relationships. In recent years, the concept has regained prominence through positive psychology and researchers such as Gordon Flett.

Positive psychology, which focuses on people's well-being, has developed the concept further and shown that feeling important to others is an essential building block for a fulfilled and happy life.

What is the core message? Mattering enables people to fully unfold and lead a fulfilled life. This feeling can be described on three levels:

  1. Awareness: We feel seen and perceived.

  2. Importance: Others perceive us as valuable and significant.

  3. Reliance: We are important to others, they rely on us and would miss us.

People who feel that they count have a stronger sense of self-worth, are more resilient to stress and develop more positive relationships.

How does Mattering help people?

The feeling of being important to others has a huge impact on our lives. It not only strengthens our self-esteem, but also our resilience to stress and mental challenges. Studies show that people who feel valued suffer less from depression, anxiety and social isolation.

Mattering plays a particularly important role in adolescence and young adulthood. It promotes personal development, strengthens self-image and contributes to greater life satisfaction. People who feel that they are important show less emotional stress and feel safer and more secure in their social environment.

Mattering as a social factor

Societies that promote the principle of Mattering experience stronger social bonds and less inequality. When people feel that their contributions are valued, they become more engaged and feel part of a community. This leads to better social cohesion, less loneliness and an improvement in overall mental health.

In these societies, people report greater life satisfaction and stronger social cohesion. Mattering therefore not only strengthens individual well-being, but also the social fabric and contributes to a fairer community.

Mattering and resilience: a decisive factor for resilience

The link between Mattering and Resilience is a key concept emphasised on the Resilience Academy website. Mattering is not only important for individual well-being, but is also a key factor in developing resilience. People who feel needed and valued develop greater resilience in the face of life's challenges. They are better able to deal with stress, setbacks and crises because they do not feel isolated or left alone.

Mattering acts like a psychological shield that enables people to rely on social support and recognition. This feeling of being needed in difficult times strengthens personal resilience and helps to overcome even major challenges.

Mattering in the world of work: more than just recognition

Mattering also plays a central role in the professional context. The Resilience Academy emphasises that people who feel valued at work are more productive, happier and healthier. A workplace where employees feel that their work and their contribution count promotes a positive work culture and increases employee engagement.

Companies that actively promote Mattering benefit from higher employee satisfaction and greater employee loyalty, which in turn reduces the sickness rate. When employees feel that their work is recognised and valued, they feel more comfortable in their job and are more motivated to contribute to the company's success. Mattering thus becomes a decisive factor for the health and growth of a company.

Practical approaches to strengthen Mattering in everyday life

The Resilience Academy offers some practical tips on how to promote Mattering in everyday life:

  1. Show recognition and appreciation: Honest recognition - whether at work or in your personal life - signals that the contributions of others are valued. A simple praise or a sincere thank you is often enough to convey Mattering.

  2. Making time for others: Consciously spending time with others shows that they are important to us. This can be a quick phone call, a meeting or simply listening attentively.

  3. Building reliability and trust: People need to know that they can rely on others. Reliable relationships in which mutual support is a matter of course strengthen the feeling of mattering.

  4. Involvement in decision-making processes: People who are involved in decisions feel valued and included. This applies both in a private and professional context.

By promoting Mattering in everyday life, we not only improve the well-being of those around us, but also strengthen our own social connections and resilience.

For the Spocial Post 5 tips to promote Mattering in everyday life:

  1. Show genuine interest: Actively ask about the well-being of the people around you and really listen to them.

  2. Share recognition: Give sincere compliments and recognise the achievements and strengths of others.

  3. Build reliability: Show that people can rely on you by being dependable and helpful.

  4. Spend valuable time together: Consciously invest time in relationships with friends and family, without distractions.

  5. Offer help: Even small gestures of support can make others feel valued.

The concept of Mattering helps us to enrich not only our own lives, but also the lives of others. By focusing on making others feel that they matter, we contribute to a better and stronger society.

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About the authors

The editorial team of REDEZEIT FÜR DICH is a team of mental health experts, professional coaches and dedicated writers who are committed to sharing knowledge and insights around the topic of mental wellbeing. With a deep understanding of the challenges of modern life and a wealth of experience in supporting people in crisis, the editorial team provides content that informs, inspires and shows ways to personal fulfilment.

In the articles by the REDEZEIT FÜR DICH editorial team, readers will find a carefully curated mix of practical advice, in-depth reflections and motivating stories. Each article is written with the aim of encouraging readers to prioritise their mental health, strengthen their resilience and build a supportive network.

The REDEZEIT FÜR DICH editorial team is always open to suggestions, feedback or personal stories that you would like to share with us. We are here to support, share and pave the way to a mentally healthy community together.